uneasy..

feeling uneasy..

what the future will be..

mmg btol,kita hanya merancang,tp Tuhan yg menentukan..

is this the end?? our story will end this way..like this..

counting the days...

with mixed feeling..

but Tuhan lebih mengetahui..Dia dah sediakan plan utk kita awal2 lg..

if this is the end..i will accept it.

no matter what,i have to let u go..it's up to u to come back for me or we end it like this..

thanks for the sweet memories..

::A Letter To Star::

dear "star",

hi..assalamualaikum. awak apa kbr? sy harap awk bahagia kt sana. sorry,tiba2 sy rasa nk menulis utk awk. da lame sy x mention psl awk. walaupon hari2 sy ingt awk dn doakan awk,tp sy still rase sy perlu tulis nie utk awk. sy x taw nk luahkan mcm mane..sbb awk xde kt sini. pada sape lg sy nk brcerita tentang awk. saya x bole nk brcerita dgn sesiapa,sbb pada mereka sy patut teruskan hidup sy mcm biasa. ye, btol..sy masih lagi brnafas dan hidup mcm biasa. thanks to God. byk yg sy nk tanya awk..dn byk bnda yg sy nk cerita kt awk. anggap la awk sdg brbicara dgn sy,can u? awk msti nk taw mcm mane dgn hidup sy skrg kn..awk jgn risau..sy hidup dgn baik..sy mkn mcm biase,tido bila waktunye..studi sy pon ok..walaupon sy extend study sy..tp awk jgn risau..sy bole hadapi sume nie. awk ada dgn sy kn? sy taw..selama 2 tahun lebih nie, awk sentiasa ada dgn sy kn.. awk mesti selalu perhatikan sy dari sana kn..i wish u would. sy yakin dgn awak sbb tu sy belaja jadi tabah. sy mintak maaf sbb setahun yg pertama sy wat awk sedih..sy taw sy x sepatutnya 'hantar' awak dgn air mata..tp sy lost sgt masa tu. but now, sy da kuat..sy da tabah. walaupon kdg2 sy masih lg menangis teringat kn awk. it's really hard for me.. awk rase ape yg sy wt nie btol x? hmm... kdg2 sy trfikir, kalo awk still ada skrg,adakah awk masih dgn sy..adakah perasaan kite still sama..i'm just wondering..if we end up bawak haluan masing2..i think this is the best for us sbb sy xnk ada sket pon perasaan benci kt awk..sy terima the fact that u leave me..but how about kalo awk still dgn sy..we're still going strong smpai skrg..mestila sy akan salahkan takdir sbb rampas awk dari sy. mesti smpai skrg sy takkan bole terima kenyataan tu. awk taw x sy rindu sgt kt awk selama 2 tahun nie. sy x bole ckp dgn sapa2..bnda da lame brlalu. dgn awk je sy bole luahkan sume nie. awk akn dgr luahan sy kn..bole x kalo sy ckp sy still lg tggu awk? awak akan dtg kt sy x..kdg2 sy jadi mcm org bodo..when im alone in the crowd..sy masih lg brharap awk akn muncul dpn sy..smpai skrg..nape sy still rasa mcm tu..kdg2 sy x rase alone..sbb awk. 2 tahun nie x terasa lame pon bg sy..bcoz u're always on my mind. does it means sy xbole terima sape2 sbb sy da ada awk. sy pon x taw..awk, awk taw apa yg trbaik bg sy..awk taw sy mcm mane kn..awk phm sy. org kate x baik ckp kalo..tp knape sy selalu tnya soklan yg sama..kalo awk still ada,kalo awk tiba2 muncul.....sumenya x kn trjadi ke? awk? im asking u....is it true that i still can't get over u....tapi sy kejam kn...da 2 tahun sy sekali pon x penah 'ziarahi' awk kn...awk taw x betapa sy nk pegi 'ziarah' awk..sy nk pegang pusara awk, sy nak sedekah kn al-fatihah kt awk..sume tu sy x dpt wat dulu..tp walau mcm mane sekali pon, sy ttp doakan awk dlm doa2 sy. sy hidup dgn kenangan awk. itu je yg sy ada..x adil kn..kdg2 sy pk knape sy masih brharap pd kenangan2 tu..im not strong actually..i pretend to be strong..the truth is..i still can't let go of this..patut ke? sy taw..awk x nk sy wt mcm nie kn. sy cuba awk..bkn x cuba..sbb tu sy bole brtahan smpai skrg. may be sy perlukan sket mase to settle this..im sorry....trlalu byk yg sy nk ckp tp mkin byk sy tulis, sy dpt rasekan yg sy masih x dpt terima kenyataan nie. i should stop here..i'll write to u next time..

p/s : lately sy kerap teringt kt awk, maybe sbb sy takut...cos there's someone lingering in my heart..and im afraid to let him in..because there's already u inside..

still yours,

mila

afraid..

"if u not afraid to love,

if u not afraid to give,

if u not afraid to lose,

let me hear u say i will.."

how u gonna love again if u afraid? yes,i'm afraid...i'm afraid to lose..i've had enough. to lose someone u love..it feels like.........i can't explain what it feels like..i would like to love again..but can i take the risk of losing??

yoon du jun shi~~happy birthday..

yesterday was du jun birthday!! happy birthday leader. u r the best leader so far..i really admire ur charisma. take care of urself and also ur dongsaeng.. u r such a lovely hyung!! saranghae!!

ON RAINY DAYS lyrics translation by B2ST

[DJ] When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still
[KK] Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

[YS] Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true
[HS] I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] I must be drunk, I think I need to stop drinking
Since the rain is falling, I think I might fall as well
Well this doesn’t mean that I miss you, no it doesn’t mean that
It just means that the time we had together was a bit sharp
When it’s the type of day that you really liked
I keep opening the raw memories of you
Making the excuse that it’s all memories, I take a step forward
I don’t even make the effort to escape

[DW] Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again
[KK] All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

(To you) [HS] Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
[DW] I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] What can I do about something that already ended?
I’m just regretting after like the stupid fool I am
Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

[JH] Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

THOUGH I CALL lyrics translation by B2ST

[JH] I already know what you gonna say
I wanna keep it away
I don’t never wanna let you go

[KK] Don’t say a thing, don’t turn back
I already know that you are going to say
With my head down I keep looking at my watch
My heart is clenching

[DJ] If I look you without any words
I can’t stand it because I’m so nervous
I keep calling your name
But you don’t answer
[YS] why why why
[HS] The conversations and words, our meetings and our times keeps getting shorter
[YS] never cry
[HS] I can’t send you away like this

[YS] Only you Ma girl. girl. Tell me baby.
You’re ma girl girl baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
[HS] I’m still loving you you. oh ma baby
only you you. baby babe
[YS] Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything
[DW] bye bye bye bye bye
Your words are a lie lie lie lie lie
My eyes cry cry cry cry cry tonight

[JH] Ok, I already know but,
Like how old clothes get the warn out spots, even our love, that shared a lot of times
Isn’t like before and it’s just pausing for a while
After speaking of farewell, I know for sure that you will definitely regret it
I will give you plenty of time for you to swallow the words you are holding in your heart

[YS] why why why
[HS] After saying that you love me, how can you turn away so easily?
[YS] I don’t cry
[HS] I can’t end it like this

[YS] Only you Ma girl. girl. Tell me baby.
You’re ma girl girl baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
[HS] I’m still loving you you. oh ma baby
only you you. baby babe
[YS] Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything

[JH] I will change, anything works so just tell me what to change
The answer to our problems is never farewell
If the love between you and I froze like the cold winter thorn, I’ll try to melt it again
You, you, just like now just don’t let go of my hands

[YS] Only you Ma girl. girl. Tell me baby.
You’re ma girl girl baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
[HS] I’m still loving you you oh ma baby
only you you baby babe
[YS] Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything
[DW] bye bye bye bye bye
My words are a lie lie lie lie lie
My eyes cry cry cry cry
tonight

VIRUS lyrics translation by B2ST

[KK] I’m fine with waiting, I’m fine with you not wanting to look at me
Just stay next to me
I’m fine with you cursing, I’m fine with you hurting me
I, I will do better

[DJ] I will hold it in even if you hate me
Even if you keep pushing me away

[HS] Don’t leave me
Don’t get a new man
I will bear everything for you

[DW] You are my virus
You will make it harder on me
When I look at you again
My heart will hurt
But still I want you
Even if I’m in pain after pain
Even if I might lose everything

[YS] You are my virus
You will make it painful for me
I want you again and again
I crazily want you
I love you so much
Even if I’m in pain after pain
I love you until the day I die

[JH] leave to me girl
Take me with you
Leaving that black wall behind
Let’s head towards that dusk
Remove that curtain covering the space between you and I
Even thought it’s so hot that I might burn
I will still jump in so that you won’t have to do anything
Slowly, little by little, I will blend in

[DJ] I will hold it in even if you hate me
Even if you keep pushing me away

[HS] Don’t leave me
Don’t get a new man
I will love you a little more

[HS] You are my virus
You will make it harder on me
When I look at you again
My heart will hurt
But still I want you
Even if I’m in pain after pain
Even if I might lose everything

[YS] You are my virus
You will make it painful for me
I want you again and again
I crazily want you
I love you so much
Even if I’m in pain after pain
I love you until the day I die

[KK] Even if it hurts this much, I love you
Watching you I wait again

[JH] It might not be the love that is beautiful
It might not be the love that is blessed
But if I can reach you, I’m satisfied
(Just loving you) I’m satisfied with just that

[DW] You are my virus
You will make it harder on me
When I look at you again
My heart will hurt

[HS] But still I want you
Even if I’m in pain after pain
Even if I might lose everything

[YS] You are my virus
You will make it painful for me
I want you again and again
I crazily want you
I love you so much
Even if I’m in pain after pain
I love you until the day I die

(You are my virus)