dream..

that dream..

what does it means?

i dream of u last nite..

did u miss me that much..

u came in my dream, but not showing urself..

and u ask me what was my wish..u know the answer,dear..

u know i always miss u right..

im glad that u visit me in my sleep..but i really want to see u again..

seriously...

p/s: suddenly remember this song..

Oh star fall down on me
Let me make a wish upon you
Hold on, let me think
Think of what I'm wishing for

Wait, don't go away.
Just not yet.
Cause I thought,
I had it.
But I forget.

And I won't let you fall away,
From me.
You will never fade.
And I won't let you fall away.
From me.
You will never fade away from me.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/paramore/oh_star.html ]
And now I let my dreams consume me,
And tell me what to think.
But hold on,
Hold on.
What am I dreaming?

Wait, don't go away.
Just not yet.
Cause I thought,
That I had it.
But I forget.

And I won't let you fall away,
From me.
You will never fade away.
I won't let you fall away.
You will never fade away.

And I won't let you fall away.
You will never fade away.
And I won't let you fall away from me,
You will never...

Oh star fall down on me.

::future::

dear future,

i am waiting..waiting for u to grab my hand and hold my hand till the end. i am tired..tired of the past. i'm always haunted by the past. i don't know if i'm the one who don't want to let it go or they don't want to let me go..hello future,when will u come and find me?

still waiting,
-me-

-thinking of u-

"comparison are easily done once u've had a taste of perfection.."

mmg manusia suka wat comparison kn..x bole lari dari kenyataan tu..apa2 pon kite suka wat comparison in order to get the best. nk cari kasut ke,baju ke,beg ke mesti nk cari yg btol2 brkenan kt hati..baru puas hati. nak plak aku nie..b4 nk beli ntah bape lame dok pilih n pikir. hmm,kalo da dpt,baru puas hati..pas tu suke stick dgn satu2 brg tu je..smpai la da xbole guna, baru pikir nk tukar laen..hmm..xpela,brg2 cm tu..sng nk replace.

cerewet kn aku nih..tu kira memilih ke?..xkn. just nk cari yang sesuai n yg kite suka..x salah. what about human/person/someone?? kalo org lg ssh kot nk ganti..huhu..btol kn..da la nk pilih pon ssh,take time..pastu nk replace lg laa..do u remember this?

"it takes 1 second to fall in love..bla..bla..bla..(cannot remember what it is)

but it takes forever to forget.."

nasib bdn laa...im not questioning God, why me? why not someone else? aku taw selagi Tuhan bg kita dugaan selagi tu Tuhan masih ingt kt kita..cuma manusia je selalu lupakan Dia. i know, God rains me with lots of tests..but one day,there will be a rainbow,Insya Allah.

lately, i always thinking about u..sbb tu ak rase i still can't let go. because u were the best thing i ever had..until now,i can't find someone like u..

desperate!!

desperately need job now!! xmo tanam anggur...huhu

uneasy..

feeling uneasy..

what the future will be..

mmg btol,kita hanya merancang,tp Tuhan yg menentukan..

is this the end?? our story will end this way..like this..

counting the days...

with mixed feeling..

but Tuhan lebih mengetahui..Dia dah sediakan plan utk kita awal2 lg..

if this is the end..i will accept it.

no matter what,i have to let u go..it's up to u to come back for me or we end it like this..

thanks for the sweet memories..

::A Letter To Star::

dear "star",

hi..assalamualaikum. awak apa kbr? sy harap awk bahagia kt sana. sorry,tiba2 sy rasa nk menulis utk awk. da lame sy x mention psl awk. walaupon hari2 sy ingt awk dn doakan awk,tp sy still rase sy perlu tulis nie utk awk. sy x taw nk luahkan mcm mane..sbb awk xde kt sini. pada sape lg sy nk brcerita tentang awk. saya x bole nk brcerita dgn sesiapa,sbb pada mereka sy patut teruskan hidup sy mcm biasa. ye, btol..sy masih lagi brnafas dan hidup mcm biasa. thanks to God. byk yg sy nk tanya awk..dn byk bnda yg sy nk cerita kt awk. anggap la awk sdg brbicara dgn sy,can u? awk msti nk taw mcm mane dgn hidup sy skrg kn..awk jgn risau..sy hidup dgn baik..sy mkn mcm biase,tido bila waktunye..studi sy pon ok..walaupon sy extend study sy..tp awk jgn risau..sy bole hadapi sume nie. awk ada dgn sy kn? sy taw..selama 2 tahun lebih nie, awk sentiasa ada dgn sy kn.. awk mesti selalu perhatikan sy dari sana kn..i wish u would. sy yakin dgn awak sbb tu sy belaja jadi tabah. sy mintak maaf sbb setahun yg pertama sy wat awk sedih..sy taw sy x sepatutnya 'hantar' awak dgn air mata..tp sy lost sgt masa tu. but now, sy da kuat..sy da tabah. walaupon kdg2 sy masih lg menangis teringat kn awk. it's really hard for me.. awk rase ape yg sy wt nie btol x? hmm... kdg2 sy trfikir, kalo awk still ada skrg,adakah awk masih dgn sy..adakah perasaan kite still sama..i'm just wondering..if we end up bawak haluan masing2..i think this is the best for us sbb sy xnk ada sket pon perasaan benci kt awk..sy terima the fact that u leave me..but how about kalo awk still dgn sy..we're still going strong smpai skrg..mestila sy akan salahkan takdir sbb rampas awk dari sy. mesti smpai skrg sy takkan bole terima kenyataan tu. awk taw x sy rindu sgt kt awk selama 2 tahun nie. sy x bole ckp dgn sapa2..bnda da lame brlalu. dgn awk je sy bole luahkan sume nie. awk akn dgr luahan sy kn..bole x kalo sy ckp sy still lg tggu awk? awak akan dtg kt sy x..kdg2 sy jadi mcm org bodo..when im alone in the crowd..sy masih lg brharap awk akn muncul dpn sy..smpai skrg..nape sy still rasa mcm tu..kdg2 sy x rase alone..sbb awk. 2 tahun nie x terasa lame pon bg sy..bcoz u're always on my mind. does it means sy xbole terima sape2 sbb sy da ada awk. sy pon x taw..awk, awk taw apa yg trbaik bg sy..awk taw sy mcm mane kn..awk phm sy. org kate x baik ckp kalo..tp knape sy selalu tnya soklan yg sama..kalo awk still ada,kalo awk tiba2 muncul.....sumenya x kn trjadi ke? awk? im asking u....is it true that i still can't get over u....tapi sy kejam kn...da 2 tahun sy sekali pon x penah 'ziarahi' awk kn...awk taw x betapa sy nk pegi 'ziarah' awk..sy nk pegang pusara awk, sy nak sedekah kn al-fatihah kt awk..sume tu sy x dpt wat dulu..tp walau mcm mane sekali pon, sy ttp doakan awk dlm doa2 sy. sy hidup dgn kenangan awk. itu je yg sy ada..x adil kn..kdg2 sy pk knape sy masih brharap pd kenangan2 tu..im not strong actually..i pretend to be strong..the truth is..i still can't let go of this..patut ke? sy taw..awk x nk sy wt mcm nie kn. sy cuba awk..bkn x cuba..sbb tu sy bole brtahan smpai skrg. may be sy perlukan sket mase to settle this..im sorry....trlalu byk yg sy nk ckp tp mkin byk sy tulis, sy dpt rasekan yg sy masih x dpt terima kenyataan nie. i should stop here..i'll write to u next time..

p/s : lately sy kerap teringt kt awk, maybe sbb sy takut...cos there's someone lingering in my heart..and im afraid to let him in..because there's already u inside..

still yours,

mila

afraid..

"if u not afraid to love,

if u not afraid to give,

if u not afraid to lose,

let me hear u say i will.."

how u gonna love again if u afraid? yes,i'm afraid...i'm afraid to lose..i've had enough. to lose someone u love..it feels like.........i can't explain what it feels like..i would like to love again..but can i take the risk of losing??